OK ladies… I typically would refrain from writing about something as gross as this, but I feel that it is appropriate because so many fucking men claim that women smell of fish. I can’t stand when men say that about our vagina!!!
Fuck you boys! Like your balls don’t smell, but we never say anything. It’s such an excuse for them to not go down on us after they have cum in two minutes and they say, “I’m just too tired to reciprocate and you just don’t smell right!!!!”
In my opinion, it is just an excuse because they are incompetent in many ways… Lazy!!!
I was getting a pedicure the other day and the women that was painting my lovely toes started talking about embarrassing dating stories. I asked what was her top three and this story to follow was the inspiration of this blog post.
Her night started out at L’Artusi, a hot spot in the West Village that has hot bartenders, an amazing wine list and very rich men sitting at the bar with wedding band tan lines…. Hmmmm???
Anyway, it was my friends first date with a lawyer. It was a blind date and as soon as he walked in, she was in love. Italian, great hair, amazing smile and a money clip that was full of Franklin’s….
So we proceeded to order. We had some expensive wine and ordered some fish for dinner. When the meal came, I was overwhelmed by the smell of the fish. We were sitting at the bar by the kitchen, so I assumed that the overwhelming scent was coming for the grill….
When our fish stick appetizers arrived, owe gobbled them down and then the plates were taken away.
10 minutes passed and the fish smell was still all around me. I smelled my wine thinking the red wine was having a chemical reaction to the dish washing fluid???
“Check please,” John said.
“Thank god,” I said. “This fucking restaurant smells!!!”
So John has driver pick us up and we end up at the Soho Hotel for a romantic sex romp.
We start kissing and I start to unbuckle his pants to reveal a man hung like horse. My eyes bulged with excitement, but suddenly started to water as this gas from his boxers surfaced to what felt like Pepper Spray!!!!
Oh my god, the fish smell was back!!!!
I knelt down on my knees to give him an after dinner blow job(all men expect that) and almost vomited as his dick smelled like and old freeze-dried vandicamp fish stick!!
I jumped up and said you need to wash your dick!!! It so smelly!
He told me to fuck off bitch and threw me out of the house.
What a fish cock!!!!
Anyway, ladies… Let’s this me a reminder… We are not the only fish swimming in the pond…
Dont ever let those men say that we smell, one never knows what lays beneath the trouser abyss!
Ms. Vandi Camp